Words About Something

I has a smexy quarantine mask. Envy me.

Aaah, my children, back so soon?
Grab a seat beside the fire, gather ’round.
Tales are to be told,
Pandemics are to be circulated.

Before I begin, I’d like to apologise to Mr Mangan.
{See post titled “Opening the Linguistic Envelope”}
There are MUCH more clueless people than you. Mainly, Americans.
Such stupiditiy can only be rewarded with bad soap operas, but it looks like someone got the job done before I could get around to it. I can’t seem to source the original page but it mentioned something about teens chatting eachother up via abbreviation, and how awful it was because for some reasons teenagers have never, in the history of the world, ever, been interested in getting into one another’s pants without their parents finding out.
Honestly. I’d also like to point out that a lot of these probably didn’t source from teenagers themselves but those of former generations looking for a way to ‘fit in comfortably’ with the youth if-ya-know-what-I-mean.

Melbourne's Inner-Northern Suburbs: Pre-flu

So, they said when pigs fly… and bird flu.
The general majority of Australians I’d encountered didn’t seem to bother giving a damn or even being informed about swine flu until it reached our youth, clawing out their immunes in the form of headaches, and you guessed it, general FLU symptoms. People didn’t know much about the progress of the illness (note: not disease)  so a huge panic started when it actually reached our shores. Congratulations to general consensus again, for not giving a flying pigs arse about anyone but yourself. Leave it up to the Mexicans, you said. Well, we did. They taught the flu how to illegaly cross borders. Now look where we at, foo’. Several schools have been closed for a selected week due to quarantine and fear of the hallways smelling of bacon. This can be easily dealt with. Get some of this chicken fragrance. Or if you’re a vegetarian/vegan/raw/Musilm/Jew/ugly person with a really annoyingly nasally voice, one of these should suffice.

I hear you can customise these babies like a swiss army knife, or even bury treasure in them. Aaaaaawww yeeeaaaa.

Anyway, enough about that, the point of that semi-mis-informed-crazy-rant  is that I now currently have a flu. Suprisingly, in FLU SEASON. Now, because of a illness that few were truly concerned about to begin with, I had to get my nose swabbed. JUST INCASE. I haven’t gotten my results back yet though

Yes, by this legit doctor guy. He used a gentle cotton bud attached to a sabre sword. Also does children’s parties.

Regardless of whether  my school is open or not for this week, I am stuck at home, destroying an equivalent amount of tissues to that of trees in the amazon. Greenpeace are going to have me on their hit-list. I have to stay home until my exams begin - a week from now. No revision time. No study sheets. More tissues. Ugh. I hate being sick. I had more to say, but that’s all for now.

Stay safe kids, remember, this could be you.

Oh, and happy 19th birthday for yesterday Dan - remember, you’re one year away from your mid-mid-life-crisis.